


to win some, you gotta lose some

by thedreamsteam



Series: the dream team fics [50]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Character Turned Into a Ghost, Ghost TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Implied/Referenced Suicide, Sacrifice, its not as bad as it sounds (i think), i’ll ask for a friends opinion on that after i post it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:13:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28004469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedreamsteam/pseuds/thedreamsteam
Summary: Tubbo knew that to be a president, to be a good one, you would have to sacrifice many things. He had seen people do this, many people he looked up to, so he knew, eventually his time would come. Because it happened to anyone who had been president, had happened to everyone who had been a leader.or, Tubbo is the president, and he knows that the pattern that follows will have to continue with him (but he also thinks about tommy, schlatt, dream, and sap)
Relationships: Jschlatt & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Sapnap & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Series: the dream team fics [50]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1913893
Comments: 9
Kudos: 151





	to win some, you gotta lose some

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this entirely in the notes app of my phone 😎😎

Tubbo knew that to be a president, to be a good one, you would have to sacrifice many things. He had seen people do this, many people he looked up to, so he knew, eventually his time would come. Because it happened to anyone who had been president, had happened to everyone who had been a leader.

Schlatt had given up being a good dad, desperate to maintain the land, but by doing this, he lost his family, lost the one thing he would have once his time was up. Wilbur lost his sanity, lost the feeling to feel remorse, to feel guilty, but most importantly, he lost his life.

Tubbo didn’t know what he would lose.

The only thing that had come to mind was his life, because that was the most important thing, wasn’t it? His three lives? Two times to respawn, two more chances at life, until he was gone. That was the most important thing, wasn’t it?

Staring at Tommy, though, that idea was scrapped, tossed into a pile to burn later. The idea was just that: an idea. It was wrong, proven now, proved then, when he stared at Tommy and watched his ~~Vice President~~ best friend stare at him with a defeated look.

“I’m sorry, Tommy.” He had said, hiding his tears. “It’s for the greater good.”

Tommy hadn’t said anything to him. He had only followed Dream and had turned back to glance at him one last time before being lead away.

Tubbo had thought that was his sacrifice. He had thought that that was what he lost. Losing his best friend to exile, forcing him away from his own country, the one he had built from his ground up with his own bare hands? Surely, that was the sacrifice.

It wasn’t.

(Now, he thinks back to Tommy leaving for exile. Now, he remembers Tommy’s one last look, one last glance, and he can’t help but think, was Tommy Orpheus? He had turned around for one final time, for what he thought would be his final look.

Did that mean he was Eurydice? Did that mean he was the reason Tommy would never come back, never return to these lands? Did that mean he was the reason Tommy could never see him again?)

Forcing Tommy out, never to see him again wasn’t a sacrifice, he sees now. That wasn’t a sacrifice, not even close. It was a loss, yes, but it wasn’t a sacrifice.

He could’ve seen Tommy at any time he was in exile. The compass Wilbur had given him proved this well enough. He could’ve just given power to someone for one day and run as far as he could, before he came upon the sorry little place that Tommy didn’t want to call home. He could’ve talked to him and given him advice before returning like nothing ever happened.

He didn’t.

This was a sacrifice, now. This was a sacrifice, and he would never be able to undo it, never be able to reverse it ever again.

Presidents didn’t get to be president without losing something in return. It was a trade off. Lose something important, you gain something important. That’s how it worked. You never got to a position of power without losing something first.

He hadn’t know what his most important object was when he started this whole thing. He had thought it was his life, and he had been prepared to lose it, had been readying himself to die at any moment.

He didn’t expect for someone else to die, though. He didn’t expect for blood to be smeared on the wooden walls and for handprints to be smacked onto the Nether portal.

To win some, you gotta lose some, right? That’s what Schlatt always told him, on the rare nights that he didn’t drink. He told him this everytime they played chess together, smiling and putting on a fake serious voice that Tubbo could see right through.

“Now, my young son,” He would say, and Tubbo would alway giggle, “there are certain rules in life, but most importantly, there are certain rules in chess. There’s not many, but there’s one that you should know, because a it’s a rule for both life and chess, so it may just help you out.”

“What is this oh mighty rule?” He would always ask like it was the first time Schlatt was telling him this, and always, his dad would smile at him.

“To win some, you gotta lose some.” He would say, and then they would both start laughing and continue on like it was just a fun joke that Schlatt said.

But he was right. To win some, you gotta lose some. And he was going to win this war, he was going to win this land. And he had thought he already lost enough. His brother slowly manipulating everyone around him and him exiling his best friend should’ve been enough.

But as he stands looking down into the lava, he can’t help but think that it’s never enough. They take and they take and they take, until everyone that you love is gone, until everything that’s ever given you happiness is snapped into half on the grass of your lawn.

To be a president, you have to make a sacrifice, no matter whether you’re the one who pulls the trigger or not. Sometimes you’re the one who decides the sacrifice, the one who leaves everything before it can hurt you later. Other times, you’re the one who doesn’t even know what you can sacrifice until the world makes the decision for you.

Unfortunately, Tubbo is the second option.

The man standing next to him doesn’t give him any comfort other than a hand wrapped around his shoulder, and strangely, Tubbo finds it better than if he had been pulled into a hug. He’s only a couple years older than him, yet he already feels like a better older brother, miles better than Dream.

“Let’s go back to your home, okay?” Sap says softly, and when Tubbo doesn’t move, when he can only continue to stare into the lava, Sap gently pulls him away.

The ghost follows behind them, his clothes looking warm even in the Nether, and when they arrive in the regular world, back into Tubbo’s land, he shivers as he wishes that he had some.

Gently, Sap pulls him along, and quietly, the ghost follows. Tubbo glances back at him every so often, but he doesn’t know what to say, what to do, so he never speaks.

He doesn’t speak until it’s only them two left, alone in his room, and he pulls the drawers of his dresser open and speaks before he can stop to think about it.

“What did you do?” He asks him, quietly, and Tommy blinks.

“I didn’t do anything.” Tommy says quietly. “I only... only listened to Dream.”

“What do you mean?” Tubbo asks, pulling up and turning around to look at the shell of his best friend.

“He told me to follow him, I remember that. And... he told me to follow behind him, in the Nether. So I did. And then he told me to.... to take my armor off. So I did. And he made me throw everything into the lava. Everything.”

“Including yourself?” Tubbo near whispers, horrified.

Tommy’s answer is slow, but it comes. And when it does, all Tubbo can do is move to sit on his bed, head hung low as he thinks. There’s not much to do, not much to do at all, but there is a plan, one that he can start easily.

Because here’s the thing: Tommy isn’t just a random nobody on the server. He’s the person who everyone loves, even if they don’t want to admit it. People will act like they hate him, will say that they will kill him, but they would never even touch a single hair on his head. (Not everyone is like that, of course, but most of them are, and that’s the whole point.)

And Tubbo’s plan worked with this. It was based on this whole idea. And here’s another thing: when you have a plan, when you have one in war, you have to set it in motion as fast as you can, before everything turns to shit.

-

To win some, you gotta lose some. That’s the saying, the one that Schlatt had always repeated to Tubbo. It’s an easy thing to remember.

To win some, you gotta lose some. But that can be turned around. If you lose some, you gotta win some. Because eventually, if you lose often enough (if you lose too much), the world will give you a favor.

They’ll be forced to give you happiness, they’ll be forced to give you something you want, and when you sacrifice too much, when you lose too many things, they’ll have to give you something in return.

Lose too much, and the world will be in your debt.

**Author's Note:**

> im @phllza on tumblr
> 
> [sequel](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28004469)


End file.
